socialization

No homeschool blog would be complete without some discussion on this often sticky subject. I won't have a full discussion on this topic, but I do have a little story to illustrate just how well homeschooling socializes children.

The other day, Heidi's friend from down the street came over for a playdate. They used to go to preschool together, until we switched Heidi to the Children's Garden in January. Sadly for our youngest, this friend is completely fascinated with Sophine. What happens is that when Heidi goes over there to play, the two girls (and her younger siblings) have a grand time together being four year olds. However, when this friend comes to our house, she forgets just who Heidi is, and is glued to the ever-fascinating older sister Sophine, asking tons of questions. You can imagine that this is not a happy scenario for either of my kids. Heidi feels hugely left out, while Sophine's finely tuned antennae make her feel responsible for Heidi's unhappiness, but don't give her tools to help the situation. And let's just say that being bombarded with questions by anyone isn't exactly the favorite pastime of our most private child.

So what does any of this have to do with socialization? Well, the friend is only exposed to children her age in preschool (she goes to two separate programs for long hours each day), or younger siblings. My children however routinely play with children whose ages range from under one to about 11. Even at school, Heidi is in a room with children up to ages 6 and almost 7. Over the last three years, the girls have become comfortable looking at other children for the people they are. They mystery of "older" is gone, and it's all about the games. So with some children they will play dressup and become cats or puppies or babies, or they have fairy tea parties. With others they will play pirate or go on adventures involving shovels and the back yard, or they will build things from any kind of construction set they can get their hands on. I don't quite know how they do it, but the kids (all of them, not just mine) are very adept at figuring out what kind of play works with whom. There is rarely any fallout from age differences or even gender differences.

I used to worry about Sophine's socialization, since she is such a shy person. But these days she gives me lots of reasons to smile, as she skillfully navigates all kinds of play situations and strives to make sure that every child gets to feel included. All this social training has helped make her into one of the most kind, loving and sweet children I know. So is socialization an issue? For us it certainly isn't one I worry about.