an update and pondering diversity

First of all, thanks to all of you who have commented on my last post, both online and in "real time." With a little time to reflect on the situation, it has become clear that the school is quite supportive of my position. They're in the unfortunate situation of having to take these kinds of claims seriously, while they also know that it's quite a bizarre statement to make, really. So I wait and I'll have lunch with the mother of the child whom I supposedly made racial slurs about. It is really unsettling to me that a statement I made could have gotten misconstrued to the point where an innocent family got hurt by it. So the mom and I will have lunch and get to know each other a little better, and try to see what develops.

As far as my job interview and the position at the school go, I feel it is completely out of my hands at this point. I've been told I'm the person they really want to hire, so I feel that the ball is in the school's court. I'll be talking to the school this week to see how we go from here. I'm quite at peace with this, I have great respect for the two people at the school whose hands this is in, and I truly feel that what is meant to happen will happen, and it will be for the best.

This whole episode, as painful as it has been, has also been quite instructive. Not only about the distance one needs to keep with students and their parents when working in a school, but about the whole "debate" (if one can call it that) on diversity in America. Clearly that word set off something very emotional in someone, and I'm not sure that this isn't common. As I've spoken with friends on this issue, I'm led to understand that in America, ethnicity, race, diversity etc. is mostly dealt with by not being spoken about. The implication appears to be that if you speak of it, you're judging someone by their skin color, ethnic background etc. Consequently, you show your lack of prejudice by ignoring people's racial, ethnic and cultural backgrounds. I'd love to hear other people's views on this, does that cover it? Am I way off base?

This is where my multi-cultural upbringing may be throwing me a bit of a curve-ball. In other places I've lived, acknowledging people's differences was quite common, not as a measure of judgement of a person's worth, but as a part of their story, a way to get to know them and about their background and family. An effort to understand people, to connect, and ultimately to celebrate how we are all so very different. And how we are all so much the same.

Trying to put this behind me in a healthy way. I hope I'm succeeding.

On a completely different note, we had the best evening as a family. We made dinner together, everyone pitched in, and then we had an impromptu almost-midsummer music performance. And to top it all off, the kids went to bed without protest. So life is good.

big mama and the very messed up, completely bizarre and definately not very nice day

Yesterday was one of the most far-out, bizarelly weird and unpleasant days I've ever had. Oh, do I have a story for you!

Ummm, where to start. If you know me in real life, you are aware that I was born in Germany and have lived in many different countries in Europe, Asia and Africa. I have and have had friends of many different cultures, languages, religions and ethnic backgrounds and I've always cherished how these connections have taught me much about people and life. Since having Sophine, I've gone to great lengths to have my children meet people from all over the world, be it the Guatemalan weaver at the Museum of the American Indian, the Masaai dancers who support their villages by sharing their culture, or the Tibetan monks at the Smithsonian Folklife Festival many years ago, to name just a few. Having grown up internationally, inviting diversity into our lives is an important aspect of our family.

So in January, I signed Heidi up to attend the Children's Garden at the local Waldorf School. Soon after, I had a conversation with another mother (I can't remember who, and it's killing me), in which I mentioned that I had noticed the level of diversity at the school, which I didn't expect at a Waldorf School (my experience being that this more frequently occurs at the international schools). Of course my comment was an entirely positive one, as my child was in a classroom with children who did not speak English (I remember being that child), as well as children with all different languages and cultures in their homes. What a rich environment for a child to grow in!

I'm sure you can see where this is going. This week, I was called into the school. Allegations had been made that I had said (and this is more or less a direct quote) that I wasn't comfortable that my daughter had a "nigger" in her class. I then supposedly directed other racial slurs at one of the children in Heidi's class. This is deeply unsettling as I have been in the process of interviewing for a job at the school. In order to get a better handle on the situation, I have requested that the interview process be postponed until this matter can be straightened out. After all, I don't want to put the school in a position of hiring someone attracting negative attention, and I want to see how they work with staff who are falsely accused of unethical behavior. Of course I haven't been that eloquent about it, spending the last two days in a mixture of rage and despair.

But! That is not all!

Following my very interesting meeting with the head of the school, I drove home, where I broke off the key in the front door lock (not forcing it or anything, it just ripped in two instead of turning), and couldn't get the trunk of my car to open. I then took Heidi to a follow up doctor's appointment where I was informend that they need to perform some kind of contrast scan to rule out urinary reflux. Turns out Heidi gets to spend a day in the hospital after all. It's an outpatient procedure, but tell that to a kid who is going to have a catheter shoved up her privates in a few weeks. After that little joyful meeting, we picked up Sophine and headed to the chiropractor, where Husband was delayed by about an hour. To round out the day, we found a deer tick (the kind that carries lyme disease) on Sophine.

So tell me your worst day. And please post any input you have on the little situation at the school!

in which I confess to being clueless

I wonder if you can help me? I occasionally get comments. I even get an email telling me that I received a comment. But I cannot for the life of me figure out if and how it is possible to receive such and email and then email the commenter back! To this point what I've done (if possible) is click on the commenter's profile, then go to their website (if they have one), and then leave a comment on their blog. This isn't a terribly fun process, so I wonder if anyone can enlighten me as to an easier way?

Thanks eversomuch.

And Happy Mother's Day to all you mommas out there. And yes Mami, that includes you!