been tagged

I've now been tagged for a couple of memes, sadly haven't gotten around to any of them. So tonight I'll attempt to tell you 8 things about me. Thanks, Sara for thinking of me

The rules are simple…Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

So here we go:

1. As I was sitting at the table today, I realized that my right thumb is about 1/4 inch longer than my left thumb. All the other fingers are the same length. I'm not sure what that says about me.

2. I've lived in our current house for 7 years. Until I moved to the United States at age 26, I had never lived in one country for more than 4 years in a row. No wonder I'm constantly itching to go somewhere.

3. I have not lived in the same country as my parents since I was 18 years old. I used to be glad about that, but today I wish we could see each other a whole lot more often.

4. I am very direct and honest to a fault. Some people really appreciate that about me. Others, umm, not so much.

5. I love all things wool. I especially love working with wool. I like to knit but really love to needle felt, card and spin. The kicker is of course that I am allergic to wool. Go figure. Wool and tissues live right next to each other in this house.

6. I've made it a habit to be thankful for something every day. Some days I am just thankful I haven't killed anyone, or been killed by anyone. Nevertheless, this little practice of thankfulness has helped me become a happier person.

7. I never planned to live in the US long term. I was going to spend my life in Cape Town, South Africa. I still wake up quite often wondering how come I live this life and not another one. Oh dang, now I have that Talking Heads tune in my head.

8. I do not belong to any religion. I still haven't figured out if this is bad for my kids. But I can't for the life of me pretend to believe that one person's/region's/cultures' beliefs are any more valid than any other. So I work on myself, try to stay open to possibilites, and work on being a good mother to my children, and on causing as little damage among people and the earth as I can. And even though my kids make comments like "We don't go to church", I think they're doing okay spiritually.

My biggest challenge, I think, will be to find others to tag. How about Rebecca, Chasmyn and Tammi for now. Perhaps I will think of others later!

an update and pondering diversity

First of all, thanks to all of you who have commented on my last post, both online and in "real time." With a little time to reflect on the situation, it has become clear that the school is quite supportive of my position. They're in the unfortunate situation of having to take these kinds of claims seriously, while they also know that it's quite a bizarre statement to make, really. So I wait and I'll have lunch with the mother of the child whom I supposedly made racial slurs about. It is really unsettling to me that a statement I made could have gotten misconstrued to the point where an innocent family got hurt by it. So the mom and I will have lunch and get to know each other a little better, and try to see what develops.

As far as my job interview and the position at the school go, I feel it is completely out of my hands at this point. I've been told I'm the person they really want to hire, so I feel that the ball is in the school's court. I'll be talking to the school this week to see how we go from here. I'm quite at peace with this, I have great respect for the two people at the school whose hands this is in, and I truly feel that what is meant to happen will happen, and it will be for the best.

This whole episode, as painful as it has been, has also been quite instructive. Not only about the distance one needs to keep with students and their parents when working in a school, but about the whole "debate" (if one can call it that) on diversity in America. Clearly that word set off something very emotional in someone, and I'm not sure that this isn't common. As I've spoken with friends on this issue, I'm led to understand that in America, ethnicity, race, diversity etc. is mostly dealt with by not being spoken about. The implication appears to be that if you speak of it, you're judging someone by their skin color, ethnic background etc. Consequently, you show your lack of prejudice by ignoring people's racial, ethnic and cultural backgrounds. I'd love to hear other people's views on this, does that cover it? Am I way off base?

This is where my multi-cultural upbringing may be throwing me a bit of a curve-ball. In other places I've lived, acknowledging people's differences was quite common, not as a measure of judgement of a person's worth, but as a part of their story, a way to get to know them and about their background and family. An effort to understand people, to connect, and ultimately to celebrate how we are all so very different. And how we are all so much the same.

Trying to put this behind me in a healthy way. I hope I'm succeeding.

On a completely different note, we had the best evening as a family. We made dinner together, everyone pitched in, and then we had an impromptu almost-midsummer music performance. And to top it all off, the kids went to bed without protest. So life is good.

Home Alone

Heidi gave me this wicked cold, so I opted to stay home instead of driving 6 hours to celebrate a friend's 40th birthday this weekend. With only the dog for company, I'm finding myself with a day to spend any way I please. Should I knock off several items from my to do list? Should I lounge in bed all day? Should I rent a movie? The possibilities are endless...

I started the weekend with a trip to the health food store, loading up on nutritious yummies. Then I came home and wrote a 6 page letter by hand to a friend I haven't seen in many years. There's something luxurious about writing a long letter by hand. Normally I don't have the time for such things, but my need for a personal touch outweighed the convenience of typing this time. This friend just had a baby, in a country on the other side of the world. Seeing pictures of her, and hearing her voice for the first time in almost 15 years brought back so many memories, I've spent the last few days in a bit of a fog (and I don't think it's just from the cold).

See, I wasn't really supposed to be here, in the US, with a husband and children. That wasn't the plan. I was going to get my graduate degree, then return to that country and work in community development. This woman was my best friend, and her family was like family to me. I had many friends there, and with a graduate degree could have made a comfortable living in one of the most beautiful cities on the planet. So as I'm hearing about my friend and her baby, I can't help but wonder "what if"... I keep thinking of me in this other life that could have been. What would I be doing now, what would my life be? Would I be happy in the far away country?

I wonder if it's like that for everyone. Do you all have points in time you can look back on and say that some decision you made, some place you went, completely changed your life? Do you ever wonder how the other you, the one who became a doctor/moved to the country etc. is doing?

Oh, I'm so glad I have this weekend to ponder the what if's. It is such a luxury, painting the life I almost had, and realizing that the life I do have is pretty dang good, here in suburbia, with Husband, the kids and a small number of really good friends.