Roller coaster

Oldest has been having one hell of a week, and I'm learning lots more about her needs. Monday started off with homeschool coop, where she waited for me before going to the bathroom until she peed in her pants. Tuesday she complained of stomach ailments so we skipped German class. Wednesday we attempted some schoolwork with lots of whining and refusals to do anything.

I could go on. It seems like she is reacting to some food or supplement, and we've yet to figure out what it might be. Also today her OT told me that while Oldest has made a lot of progress with her sensory issues, there are many psychological issues OT cannot help with, and would we please soonest see a psychologist. So here we go for another round of meeting providers and paying oodles of money to get Oldest services, which may or may not help her with her potty issues, low self esteem, seperation anxiety and social ineptitude.

I'm burning out fast. I love working with Oldest at home, but it is no end of frustrating that after over 3 years of looking for answers for her many issues, we've made little to no progress. Meanwhile she grows up knowing that she is so very different from others, and with numerous fears and struggles. Sometimes I feel like we're pissing away her childhood (and her college fund) chasing answers like balloons in the wind.

To help Oldest, I have discovered that I must adopt a different approach. When she's well and aware and not reacting to some molecules attacking her body, we can comfortably take on Grade 1 work academically and emotionally. But when something is off, I need to have a backup kindergarten plan with lots of opportunities for her to take the initiative for planning projects, lots of sensory input (that one's easy as we do it all the time anyway) and tons of downtime sprinkled with seasonlal crafts and stories.

Well at least we've gotten this far in figuring things out! Now if I could just get notice of changing cirumstances in writing, so I can be adequately prepared...