learning about rhythm

One of the amazing aspects of having kids is how they pull you back into the present any time your mind starts wandering off too far into the future. Lately I've been spending lots of time on my own development, reading, meditating, planning for teacher training this summer. Just as in my mind all the pieces were falling into place, Sophine fell apart. So after nine stable months, my little big girl is regressing again, battling her anxieties about people, life and changes.

As a result, schooling has been very light around here lately. Earlier in the week I decided to change our main lesson subject from Word Families to our family, working on rhythm and calming life down so our most sensitive one can begin to function again socially and emotionally. Challenging as these times of regression are, they are also a blessing. They show us where we as parents need to focus our efforts to understand and support. This brings us closer as we change our attention from the logistics of the week or day to focusing on how to strengthen our rhythm as a family.

Last night we sat down with our weekly schedule and worked on creating stable bed times. First we identified the time when the girls ought to be in bed and how our day needs to flow backwards from there. For example, if the girls need to be in bed by 7:30, it's important that Husband is home by about 5:30 so they get to spend some quality time with him before dinner. But for that to happen, he needs to be at work by 8 am. This can be quite a challenge! One thing we're working on is how to create a smooth flow to those busy morning and night times, when so much needs to get done. It seems that we have been able to create a stable and flowing rhythm for the middle part of the day, but mornings and evenings are still not working the way we would like them to. So we tweak things and realize once again that rhythm is something you create not once, but over and over, every single day.

Still finding our rhythm

It always amazes me how something so simple as a cold can march us right out of our healthy rhythm and back to square one. So it's perhaps no wonder that we had quite an off day yesterday (Tuesday). Plans included cleaning the bedrooms, and going to the library. We never got to the second part of the day, as crankiness and the uncontrollable urge to fight was the theme of the day for the kids.

Days like these make me marvel at the harmony that usually reigns in our house. Yes, my kids get into arguments close to every day. But usually they are able to resolve their differences without my help and fairly quickly. Their world feels right to them when they are kind and loving with each other.

Today was a vast improvement. We played ball in German class, hid a lion, played a new song on the recorder, worked on beeswax modelling and math worksheets, and then Sophine treated me to words she knew how to write.

Then we had lunch and dipped beeswax candles at a friend's house. It is nice to get back to some kind of normal after two weeks of sickness. I suppose it's good to know that when we lose our rhythm, we can get back to it fairly quickly. Now I just need Heidi to let me know if she is really giving up her nap....

A Week in our Circle

I've been writing a fair bit about getting back to "doing school" in this young 2007, but I haven't really addressed my efforts to get back into a rhythm that is supportive of our family's needs. Thanks to Mrs. Darling and Aleisha for getting my brain humming on that. So what does a week in our home look like? When I set out to create this rhythm, I took into consideration the elements that seem to determine how we spend a significant portion of our time: our regularly scheduled activities, our need for daily naps and/or rest times, and the slew of activities I consider an important part of our home life, such as handwork, cooking/baking, reading together, arts/crafts, and painting time.

On a daily basis, our rhythm doesn't change much, even during the holidays. Husband gets up around 6 am, and the rest of us emerge between 6:30 and 7:30. We bathe and get dressed and dribble into the kitchen in order of readiness. After breakfast, Husband walks the dog with one or both of the kids, while I clear away the breakfast dishes. Then it's upstairs for brushing teeth, combing hair and a quick cleanup of bedrooms. Usually this takes about 15 minutes. Then, depending on the day, we either get ready to head out the door, start our schoolday, or the girls get immersed in play for a while. Before lunch, I usually send the girls outside for a time, a task made much easier by the swing Husband installed in the front yard as a Christmas present. Lunch occurs between 12:30 and 1:00, and is followed by rest time. Rest time is usually over between 3:00 and 3:30. I usually start dinner around 5 pm, though often Husband finishes it up when he comes home. Dinner gets on the table between 6:30 and 7:00, and then it's time go get ready for bed. The kids' lights are out by 8 pm, and what happens between then and 10:30 pm is a complete mystery. It seems that every night I look up and have NO idea where the last 2 1/2 hours went. We're in bed before 11 pm most nights.

Weekly it looks like this:

Monday: homeschool coop or outings with friends in the mornings (sometimes we do a nature walk on this day). Lunch and rest time, followed by tea or play, and every two weeks we visit our most amazing chiropractor. We also finish up any remaining laundry from the weekend, and put the clothes away.

Tuesday: a day without scheduled activities. In the morning we clean the bedrooms, and after that the kids are free to play as long as they don't trash the house (we're still working on that concept. I think after the fairy dust episode from last week, they understand that mommy doesn't like to vacuum the same room twice in one day). I usually spend the rest of the morning cleaning the downstairs, and we leave the afternoons for playdates or more playtime at home, with the occasional craft project thrown in.

Wednesday: both kids are home for school time. We do our circle (including a German lesson, active math and recorder practice) and Sophine and I review some of what we did the previous week. Then she does about 1/2 hour of practice work (the kid has a scary fondness for math workbooks, but she also copies words into her good book about once a week). During this time, Heidi and I head upstairs to he room for games , a story and an activity (beeswax modeling, sewing felt mice, etc.). Then Heidi either finds something to do by herself, or she listens in when I tell Sophine her story (fairy tales this year). Wednesday afternoons are left open because every two weeks I have my Foundation Studies class at 4:30.

Thursday: Sophine and I drop Heidi off at the Children's Garden in the morning. We usually spend about a 1/2 hour after that talking to friends, playing on the playground, or visiting the school library. Then we go home and spend 2 1/2 hours on schoolwork and handwork (right now we're needle felting gnomes) before picking up Heidi. Then it's rest time and painting class with friends. On days where we don't paint with friends, we paint at home.

Friday: Heidi again attends Children's Garden, while Sophine and I spend time on Form Drawing and her Main Lesson. If there is time left before getting Heidi, we snuggle on the sofa with a book, or work some more on one of her projects. The afternoons are free for relaxation and playdates with neighborhood friends.

Weekends: we don't really have a weekly rhythm for those as yet. Often Saturdays are for chores and errands, while Sundays are family time. But this depends on the timing of events, the weather, mommy's need to have some time to plan the week ahead, and other sundry factors.

Well, that's our lives in a nutshell. In our daily rhythm, it's notworthy just how much time we spend on meals. My children eat very slowly, and usually it takes us upward of 30 minutes to complete lunch or dinner. I've started reading to them during this time, to ward off the urge to "get stuff done" while they finish their meal. In our weekly rhythm, I've purposefully stayed away from adding more regular activities to our schedule for the moment, though in the spring we may add soccer and/or pottery back in. With Sophine's need for structure and predictability, we've found that sticking to a weekly rhythm really helps our lives to flow more smoothly. I'm finding daily and yearly rhythms fairly easy to stick to, but the weekly ones can be tricky as something always seems to come up. But for the sanity of my family I've learned to say not to a lot of opportunities. Time has taught me that often these come at a high price for everyone, particularly in the latter half of the week.